We've moved

Hey all! Just wanted to let you know that...WE'VE MOVED.

Check us out at http://uberfriendship.com/

SRT - CH06

by Shaggy

So we're still working on transferring UBER FRIENDSHIP BLOG over to word press.

...and by "working on" I mean "David is still out of the country and I fear trying wordpress by myself".

So, here's something to keep you busy for half an hour.


Play:

(right click to download) - Shaggy Reads Twilight Chapter 06 (28m52s, 26.5mb, warning: contains strong language)

add a dotcom to that...

by Shaggy

Hey all, we finally did it. Uber Friendship has it's own place holder on these here interwebs.

uberfriendship.com

So all future updates will be popping up over there... when I figure out Wordpress (right now David is rocking the transition).

OTHER NEWS.

Our 1min silent film submission to the Toronto Urban Film Festival (TUFF) called PAPER GAMES is online and ready for your votes.

EVERY DAY (yeah you can vote every day for videos, which never made sense to me, but yeah).

There were over 300 entries from 23 countries, and ours is one of the 30 finalists.

So please do watch, and if you have the time, vote for our video once a-day until Sept 17.

New Place, More Space, KFC in yo' FACE!

by Shaggy

Why did I do it...

Seemed like such a good idea at the time...

Ok, so I moved recently, and JUST down the street from me now is a KFC/Taco Bell. I haven't been in one of those in years. So of course I run in to see what's up. Oh, I'll TELL YOU what's up.

Thursday's special is 10 pieces of chicken plus a medium fry for 12 bucks. Seeing this, I'm thinking "hell yeah". Three pieces in however, I'm thinking "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!"

Ghuoooooo, my stomach was just bleeeck in that hurt so good way, because I was happy that I reached a goal I set for myself (getting KFC) but at what cost?


Though an amusing thought occurred to me while lying on the couch.

Buying KFC should actually result in you losing more weight instead of gaining, because you're giving so much of your dignity away at the counter.

...

... oh sweet, I have leftovers in the fridge.

A lot has been going on... a lot of NOTHING!

by Shaggy

Dear internets,

I would have written sooner, but I've been busy.

Actually, i realized something yesterday on the topic of being busy as I was walking through the subway turnstiles (note: I realize that I make most of my realizations while walking through those things, kinda like they are the physical manifestation of the transitions of thoughts).

Yes, we are busy people, yes we want to do SO MUCH in life, and yes we complain about never having enough time to do it all in a day; but what I realized is that when I complain about never having enough time, I feel as if I've accomplished something. As though, in my addressing the dilemma, I have chipped away at it, and have been productive.

This is not so.

This is a false feeling.

This is a problem.

I've had this conversation of projects vs. time & motivation with so many people, in person and via email. But talking about it (though it feels good to know that others share the experience) SOLVES NOTHING!!!

In my youth, I coined a mantra I wanted to live by: "Don't think about starting; start, and think about finishing."

This basically means, get the ball rolling on projects. If you spend so much time thinking about the projects you want to do, but never initiating them, then face it, they will never be done.

Because of this I have started numerous projects, some with numerous people but mostly solo affairs. Youtube shows, podcasts, comics, animations, tv shows, video games.

To this day, a few of these projects are in post production, some of them are still in the pre-production phase, and most are barely even on paper.

I still do believe in my mantra of just starting projects to get things going. Hell, I want to believe in it more than ever.

But then the problems of time return to haunt me. Realistically, there's just not enough time to do everything, ESPECIALLY if you have to collaborate with other people's time.

SO what are the options?

To quit ones job and give the additional 8-12 hours to your passions and risk poverty?

To become a complete recluse and don't spend any additional time with family or friends, just on your projects?

To put all but one of the projects aside, until said one project is complete?

If I had to choose, the 3rd option seems most plausible.

... just... which one project to choose...

...

... well, either way, this is the last time I'll ever talk about projects vs. time. The next time you hear it from me, is when something gets done.

Avatar

So Avatar is getting re-released with an additional few minutes tacked on. Does this make me want to see the movie again? No. Does this mean this is the new definitive edition, apparently not...so then why add the footage? Oh right, I forgot James Cameron's a money whore.

Now I do believe that some movies can add extra scenes like LOTR, but those movies are few and far between. I feel like you have to shoot it along with everything else you shot and not later. And then, if that's the case the reason why it was left out of the original cut must be for a reason as well.

In general like Dark City and Donnie Darko, the former added so little it felt like they just made a couple transitions and cuts a bit longer while the later over explained and took away a bit of the intrigue, adding scenes don't work.

Most of the time, because people don't want to change the tone or the intent of the movie the added scene pretty much can only repeat/reinforce what another scene has already done or be about absolutely nothing.

That said, here are a few scenes James Cameron could add to his other films.

Aliens: Follow an alien as it mingles with other aliens sleeping and eating. Thus adding absolutely nothing to the movie.

Terminator 2: See John order T-800 to do the robot dance. Thus adding absolutely nothing to the movie.

Titanic: When Rose and Jack grab a piece of ice off the deck they realize that the ice is indeed not ice but unobtainium. The most important and unobtainable substance known to man, and with it they realize that Pandora was earth all along.

(Not an Avatar)

Delays

So it has been a long while since I've last posted. I'm not sure why exactly, having nothing to say hasn't stopped me in the past. I guess it could be that we're getting close to our 100th post and reaching that milestone means that we've written a bunch of posts and I'm still not better at writing. I'm in denial, I don't want to grow up I'm a Toys R Us kid. Maybe I'm just tired. The other day I was having trouble sleeping because the sounds from my belly were keeping me up. Is that odd?

Oh, the modern me.

by Shaggy

SO I finally caved.

twitter.com/shaggyshan

I find that I'm usually not an early adapter to social networking outlets.

I didn't touch MSN for a good while when it first came out.

I didn't use facebook until a friend of mine sat me down and made the account.

And now, Twitter.

I avoided it initially for I believed my life not to be interesting enough to warrant constant micro updates for all to see. I still believe this, which is also why I don't often add people who I don't know too well as facebook friends; it's not for the security reasons, it's more of "really, not much is going on with me, so I'll be letting you down if you want entertainment."

All that being said, I understand the appeal of Twitter, beyond it's initial practical application of up to the second updates for event coordination.

When I'm bored at work, or just waiting for some video/animation to load or render, I constantly check my facebook app for news feed updates. Even if it's not something posted on my wall or having anything to do with me, I find that I need to know that something is going on outside this work world I'm trapped in / rely on for moneys.

And since a wall post is roughly under 140 characters long, Twitter is just another extension of that, just open to a wider audience.

So, the question is, will it be worth your time to follow me on my Twitter?

Looking at my past, I would be tempted to say no.

...but looking at the future? I think there's a lot of surprises on the way.

How could this happen

Night time, hot and sticky I'm walking to the subway station. Bad idea, it's garbage collection day and the whole street smells of hot sticky gross. I'm trying not to breath through my nose and generally not turn my head toward the garbage bins so instead I decide to look the other way. Now I feel I have solid spacial awareness, I don't usually bump into things and I normally use my periphery to spot things beside me, not this night. This night I was too busy focusing on the smell, the sticky hot gross smell, so when I say I was surprised by what I saw...I was blind sided. I turned towards the houses and sitting on the steps and too close for comfort were two blubbery naked old men. Maybe the blubbery was wrinkly but I don't think I've ever looked away faster, I think I wrenched my neck. I can only presume they were trying to beat the heat outside but seriously do they have no shame?

Yesterday I woke up to discover that one of my eyelids had ballooned to ridiculous proportions. Basically it looks like someone punched me in the eye. This happens to me from time to time and it really sucks, I look like Quasimodo. But I had to leave the house, I'm a trooper, so I threw on some clothes and took off. Also for some strange reason I had an urge to eat Taco Bell. This is a very strange urge for me I usually get cravings for...actually it's not that strange I often get ideas of random things I want to eat, but it's never Taco Bell. I've probably eaten at Taco Bell maybe 5 times in my life. But there I was eating a Cheesy Gordita Crunch wearing a Hot Tub Time Machine t-shirt and a ballooned up eye. Would I be a huge target of ridicule, yes. Did I feel shame?

Liquidation Sales

As much as I hate to see local businesses go under and can't help getting a little excited because I could pick up something for cheap. Yes it's horrible to prey on the weak but when it comes to store Blow-Out sales, well let's just say it's expected.

So Ammo Video is going out of business...maybe because it's called Ammo Video or maybe because even in it's dying days it still isn't having any good deals. I think the man is dettermined not to sell anything before he closes. Now lots of times the sales starts small and closer and closer to the end date the deals get better thus a fun kinda stock market game ensues trying to judge how long you can wait on pulling the trigger but early enough that someone else doesn't get it before you. At this stage I feel like a lot of people hide things like a squirrel only to forget where they hid them. If you are one of those people who do it, it can be a tricky ordeal, trying to misplace the video somewhere where people who would want said video wouldn't look, also to try and remember where it is later.

But this guy, talking on his blue tooth all day, I swear, he doesn't want to sell anything. Worst salesman ever. He wasn't even willing to give away an empty N64 package. He wanted two bucks! Seriously, you think someone's going to pay two dollars for a Beetles Adventure Racing Box?!

Not as original as you think

Subway rush hour, I'm standing mashed up against everyone else when I notice a tatoo on a girls arm. It's an anchor on her left wrist, whatever, nothing special. In fact it was kind of poorly done. On her right wrist she had a picture of a heart, also nothing to write home about. But I am because just a few bodies over another girl had a tatoo of an anchor on her left wrist and the word love written out on her right. Two people no connection, no originality.

(The Navy has Anchors)

Or is this a new cult...

Pirates could literally steal our internet

Does anyone remember the Bond movie where the villain wanted to rule the world by controlling the media...didn't think so cuz it's lame. But besides blowing shit up there are a lot of ways to mess with the world, say not having the internet. The economy would go haywire.

I don't normally stop and think about how the internet exists but it's not just all a bunch of floating digital information shot around by satellites most of it gets transfered through massive underwater cables. These giant cables are straight up, information highways, and we have to build more of them. One proposed cable recently had to be moved several miles over because of pirates! Yes, pirates!

(First pirate picture to show up on Google Images...interesting...HD DVD seriously)

Porn Video Games

In my dream last night I was discussing with Shags why there aren't any porn video games. Strangely enough it was quite a coherent conversation so I'll pretty much transcribe what I dreamt.

The idea is that porn is a very lucrative industry so why isn't there a mainstream north american porn console game? In Japan they have tons of hentai computer games, and I guess culture does have something to do with it. Where we have curtain and shops for porn, Japan also has entire floors/rooms devoted to those games it's that big. Here, where would you sell a porn game, probably not at gamestop or best buy, it's more likely it'd be in a porn shop. But that would be a problem because video games often have huge budgets and would enough of the market go to one of these places to purchase it?

One company is making a porn MMORPG, which to me actually sounds like the best idea. You can buy/play in the safety of your home so no one can point at you leaving a porn store and call you a pervert. Plus the content can keep updating and changing. Who knows how well it'll do.

I guess the other reason we don't have a porn video game is because it wouldn't work on a console...we're not Goro.

(GORO!)

Celebrate... it's alright

World Cup is on which means people slap on flags and celebrate their culture. It's nice and all and I don't really mind it except people have got to figure out a better way to celebrate then how it's done now. Honking car horns, in theory, probably sounds like a good idea. It's saying 'Hey, I'm loud and I'm proud! Look at me! Check out this flag, it means my countries awesome at football, we won a game!' Great, now it's very easy to get annoyed at all the sound pollution it causes but that's not really my beef. What I'm more concerned about is, is it actually fun? For one thing a lot of these drivers don't seem to be having fun honking a horn, but they do it, because it's easy. And why should they be happy driving back and forth on the same street wasting gas and clogging up lanes. Shouldn't there be a more fun way of celebrating? Like taking a nap. Naps are fun it could symbolize that you're so confidentin your team you don't have to worry about anything.

(Nap time)

Big Bang Theory Theory

by Shaggy

I haven't had the greatest relationships with TV sitcoms. Sure, the more modern ones WITHOUT laugh-tracks, I can get into; I consider Arrested Development to be the funniest damn show of the decade.

But network shows with laugh tracks, I never trust them. They try to tell you what's funny, and if you didn't laugh, you probably 'didn't get it'.

So I fianlly checked out The Big Bang Theory since I've heard some things about it, along the lines of 'finally, a sit-com geared for OUR generation'. And that I can say is true.

Not a minute goes by in the first episode that a social networking media isn't name dropped (facebook, myspace, blog, etc). In fact, it's done in such a way, I feel that the show is more intended for an older audience who vaguely knows of these medias by name, in that kinda of "oh I burned a CD today... shouldn't have stood so close to the camp fire with my walkman" kinda way.

I have to say I was disappointed in the first episode. Laughs were dropped in at the end of math and advanced physics jokes that I don't think any studio audience would collectively get... let alone understand it was a joke at all.

But even though I only verbally laughed-out-loud (see LOL) ONCE in the entire episode, I noticed the characters were starting to grow on me. Yes, they're eccentric and over the top, but that tends to be the point of all sitcom characters, or we wouldn't have a comical situation.

And by the second episode, IT HIT ME.

MY THEORY!

Sitcoms, don't actually have to be funny for you to watch and enjoy them. All a sitcom needs is likeable characters that, plain and simple, SAY STUFF.

As much as your friends come over and may say something witty or humorous that you laugh at even if it isn't terribly funny, when you watch a sit-com, you're amongst your 'friends', listening to their problems and screwy solutions.

It's that simple. Granted, you're more of a fly on the wall in this case, but you know these people and their daily dilemmas, and you wanna be there when they get through it.

And if you happen to laugh once in a while, all the better.

And THAT'S what's called a full circle.

by Shaggy

Holy crap, it's 1994 again.

Well, if you're a gamer that is.

This year's E3 has been the most nostalgia driven of any I can remember. The 2D side scroller has truly made a 'big name' comeback with returning titles such as Donkey Kong Country Returns, Kirby's Epic Yarn, and Sonic the Hedge Hog 4 (and this is AFTER New Super Mario Bros Wii took over the world).

Fighting games have the classic 2D stylings of Mortal Kombat. Car combat has a new Twisted Metal on it's way. Shooters will be getting a remade Goldeneye (which I thought someone already did with the Source engine).

And to top it all off, the Nintendo 3DS is ready to port over BUNDLES of classic N64 games, such as Star Fox 64 and Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

If a gamer my age has ever told you young'uns "man, games just aren't like they we're in the '90s...

...THIS IS THE 90's!!! Now where's my remake of Blast Corps?!

Showing off New Technology with old Technology

I slapped in a DVD the other day and the first thing that came up (after the Copy This and Die message) was a Blu-Ray ad. The opening shot is a boat from Troy, pixelated and ugly looking, the Narrator informs us that DVD was a revolution but now something is even more fantastic and sharper then ever. With a magic wand, poof the same boat now in glorious clarity. WOW it's so clear, it's so sharp if only I could have something as great as that...wait a minute, I'm watching a DVD... so that means it IS that clear and that sharp on my TV without anything new.

Now I'm not here to argue the merits of getting a Blu-Ray player or not, do whatever, I don't care. It's just kinda funny when people try to market you a better technology with an older technology. Do you remember the "Everything is better in DVD" campaign back in the day. They used jarring sounds and cuts to make it feel better. The thing is, I think it worked...

The Movie Industry

So far this summer's box office is down 147 million from last year. Does this mean the end of movies?! Has 3D changed anything?! How can we fix this horrible horrible slump?! The simple answer, make better movies. I hate it when the media attributes a whole whack of reasons for box office slumps when the only real reason is because of the quality of movies. It's just really weird when people start building trends, graphs and causations when there's absolutely no reason to.

False cause, you know what else uses causality horribly? Matrix Reloaded

(Worst use of causality ever)

Toys that talk SUCK.

by Shaggy

This is something that's botherd me for a while now. It really started way back when my younger sister was a MUCH younger sister, and she was all into Cardcaptor Sakura.

When a kid is into something, you get them the toys so they can play that something themselves, right?


A cool toy was the Cardcaptor Wand staff and clow cards deck. Pretty much picture perfect from the show. You got the cards, you got the wand. YOU ARE SAKURA.


...wait, no, you're not. For you see, if you wanted to USE the magic of the wand (have it light up and make sounds) THIS happened:



THE DAMN THING TALKED FOR YOU! Wouldn't the kids want to say the magic words them selves, and then cast the wand spell?

The interesting thing is, the wand sounds could also be activated by motion, so when you swung it at a clowcard, it would trigger the lights and sound, but if you as the kid said "RELEASE THE POWER" then trigger the wand, it also says (in a horribly compressed voice) "RELEASE THE POWER", taking you out of the moment.

Simular to toys with pre-recorded sounds is toys with a very specific emotion or expression. Maybe if the intent is to leave them on your shelf for display, sure, some well posed and emoting figurene works just dandy, but when they're meant for kids to play with, I would think too much expression would be limiting.

Some action figures have such extrem emotions, they leave little room to expand on a character. For instand, an angry looking guy will always be an angry looking guy, no matter what the story is. In contrast to this, the somewhat vacant expressions of Barbies can lend them to being more of a blank slate, cappable of a lot more emotions through acting of a kid.

That being said though, I'm not sure kids actually care much about this 4th wall of toy design I'm running up against. They can take any inanimate object and make it talk and emote if they want to, regardless what it looks or sounds like.

I could end this article with a thought provoking "altho as far as I'm concerned" punch-line, but I don't got one. Just stating my observations.

[BLANK] Anime

by Shaggy

Since I can't keep my online posting to myself, here's my response to a post on the following Kotaku thread, the brought up how a lot of anime plots are the same: http://ca.kotaku.com/5559926/resident-evil-creator-jrpgs-were-never-popular-in-the-west

@jay13x: Just a quick response to your anime comment; what I like about anime is that there is a show that address EVERY subject matter (fantasy, sci-fi, cooking, sports, playing board games, high school, the work world, etc, basically, something for everyone).  

But yes, when you break it down, too many of the key plots are exactly the same. See how many series you can fill in the blanks with these:  

- main character wants to be the best at [blank] and goes on a journey challenging various people at [blank] and learning about friendship.  

- lone traveler sets out on a journey to [blank], picks up a band of characters / friends along the way, we gradually find out the character's true intentions, they all stick together and follow through in saving the [blank]  

- main character gains the abilities of [blank] and with the help of their new mentor/friend, must defeat many [blanks] that are popping up all over the city.  

and finally,   

- [blank] happens, then there's a tournament.

Journalist Flip-flop-flip E3

by Shaggy

DAMN YOU gaming media!

For the past half decade, all gaming news sites, ESPECIALLY IGN, have been teaching us to hate E3, the Electronics Entertainment Expo; the most exciting press event for a kid who subscribed to Nintendo Power in the pre-internet era.

HUNDREDS of new games would be revealed, drool worth screen shots of sequels and new titles, new systems, hardware and peripherals we're addressed; in short, E3, was the mecha for a gaming youth in the 90's. We all wanted to go.

Enter the 2000's, where something gradually began to change.

Gaming journalists became little bitches!

E3 stopped sounding like something fun and full of wonder; instead, in their articles and podcasts, game media moguls would whine about over-crowding, complain about how loud the music was on the show floor, and how there's too many things to write about- waaaaaaaaaaah!

It got to the point that all the big publishers would have their own separate press events the days before E3, where everything was neatly packaged in a nice bundle for these journalists, and they gobbled it up, praising these separate events over the main show itself.

And you know what? They could have been right. 

My childhood dream of going to E3 is what led me to cross the continent and attend PAX, the penny-arcade expo that's meant for the gaming public. And I loved the hell out of it, but I could see how it can be a little cumbersome to get all the stories and coverage you need with all the noise and action going on.  I even made some video reports on the event.

... then again, I did it as a hobby, they go as their job (so scratch my previous defense for journalists, SUCK IT UP!).

Now, we're in the 2010's, and things would have seemed to return to form, "E3 is back" according to the journalists, speculating about who's gonna show what, will 3D be as awesome as everyone says, motion control on all systems, who's gonna win?

...THEY WANT US TO GET EXCITED ABOUT E3 AGAIN!

Make up your damn minds, journalists.

Make your LIFE more like a VIDEO GAME: Tip #1

by Shaggy

Sure, lot's of people wish their lives could be more like the stories and styles of the mediums they enjoy; in this case: video games. Heck, that's one of the reasons MMORPGs are so big. 

Well, each week I'll be giving you all a tip on how you can make your life more like a video game, in subtle ways that won't alienate you from the rest of the world (i.e. I'm not gonna tell you to jump on turtles or extract the souls of your enemies to level up your fighting abilities).


Make your LIFE more like a VIDEO GAME

TIP#1: 

Instead of running errands, call them "missions"

Benefit: 

When people ask you what you're up to, you can honestly tell them, "I'm on a mission."

Bonus action: when you've completed a "mission" have a ring tone ready on your cell phone or other mobile audio device. Posing while your stats tally-up is optional.

Is it still Lego?

What defines lego? I had a dream last night where I was at a toy store and they had a line of giant sized lego. But is giant sized lego just Duplo? It's weird to think that a part of ones characteristics is size definable. Like a gherkin, is a giant gherkin a pickle? There's ants and then there's giant ants...is a giant person a giant person or just a giant?

(Duplo and Lego)

Gotta catch / collect / find / shoot / appease / complete / max out them all...

by Shaggy

I realized my problem with video games this year.

Ok, it's not so much a 'problem', for as how I play games would probably make the developers of said games pretty happy.

Basically, I have the mentality to not start a new single player game until I've beaten the previous one. And the reason I rarely beat a single player game is because I have that drive to reach 100% before finishing it.

I had to collect ALL 120 stars in Mario 64 before even thinking of going up against Bowser, even though you could have confronted him sooner.

I had to find ALL 101 hidden Dalmatians in Kingdom Hearts and reach level 100 status before using the final save spot, and fighting Bad Guy Boat Man at the end of the game.

I had to find every hidden item and piece of armor/weaponry in Shadow Complex before the grand rocket finally.

All challenges in Diddy Kong Racing, all Masks and deeds in Majora's Mask, side quests, secrets, collectables, you name it.

The reason for this, has to do with being a completion-ist, as well as someone who appreciates narrative.

Basically, yes, I like to feel I did everything I could have in a game, but at the same time, I also feel the flow of the story is kinda thrown off when after beating the game and ending the story... you gotta go back into the world to dick around for collectables or something stupid.

I like to end the tale entirely. Game over, as it were. When you're done the game, YOU ARE DONE, CREDITS ROLL! (side note: this is also why games like Ocarina of Time and most RPGs piss me off that your last save is BEFORE the final boss and not after; it's like the game never remembers you beat it, your constantly in the state of BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE, and your only option is to erase the save).

However, the game that has pushed me to give up this strive for 100%; to instead just enjoy the story and the experience without having to get EVERYTHING, is Grand Theft Auto IV.

There is WAY to many damn things to 'complete' in the game. The very fact that in the pause menu there is a 100% complete check list is testament to that. Here's the short list of SOME of the things you could strive for:

- percentages of how much your friend characters like you
- did you date every eligible female character in the game
- percentages of how much the women liked you
- have you found and completed all hidden side missions throughout the city
- how many games IN THE game have you won (pool, darts, bowling, etc)
- did you do a stunt at all 50 stunt locations
- did you shoot all 200 pigeons
- did you steal all the vehicles Brucie wanted
- did you steal all the vehicles Steve wanted
- did you do all the drop jobs for Jacob
- did you deal with all wanted criminal on every island as a vigilante
- have you watched every stand up show Rickey Gervais shows up
- have you seen every commercial/show on tv
- have you bought every article of clothing in the stores

There's more, trust me, but all this ONTOP of XBOX Achievements, like being on full wanted for 5 minutes without dying, and so on...

Man, the thing about GTA4 is that there is so much attention to detail and variety, that in it's attempt to paralel real life, I had to come with terms with one of lifes realities:

YOU ARE NEVER GONNA DO EVERYTHING

You are always gonna miss out on something, be it the more obvious case of deciding between going to the movies with one friend or a bar with another as your Saturday night plans, or on the larger scale of how every minute of the day there's something going on you're missing: a comic convention, a street festival, a race, all you can eat icecream, grand opening of something, people getting together, a guy on the street is using a hula hoop etc.

So, there you have it. GTA4, you overwhelmed me. I'm done trying to see and do everything you have to offer. Just let me finish the damn story so I can move onto to Red Dead Redemption.

The One That Got Away

Today I was checking my ryerson email. My email address, not a bunch of messages from Ryerson. Good thing too, I don't want to give them any more money...anyway they call me for that. No, I was just maintained the account just in case I ever want to impersonate a student. I also use it as the email I punch in for unimportant forms that need to be filled out.

I was deleting the usual Facebook updates and such when all of a sudden, there it was, a Buy Viagra email. In general I find that I probably sign in to a bunch of things, maybe more than the average person but I don't usually get a lot of Spam, I'm not sure why. I know spam exists but I don't really get it. I guess it's kind of like a car accident, statistically you know that you're supposed to get in one, but you never think it's going to happen to you...until it does.

This Viagra was a violation, an abomination, how did it weasel its way past my defenses. I kind of picture Spam blockers as a form of Tower Defense, and I was always good at Tower Defense. But now, one got through.

So it's become a new game, a game of Clue. We're all in the parlour, Mr.Facebook, handlebar mustache with a ten gallon hat, Miss Contest Entry her flashy good looks always tempting and full of promise and Skype, a ratty skiddish looking fella with one leg longer than the other. I of course am smoking a bubble pipe and wearing a deerstalker hat.

I pace back and forth holding my attention on each one until I whip around to face Miss Contest Entry. "It would appear you are the most likely suspect, multiple forms to fill and contests usually want to sell you things, however, I made sure each time to properly uncheck certain boxes wishing to email me things. Mr. Facebook, you sir are a scoundrel and a sneak, slowly changing your privacy rules to sell away my information without me knowing...and Skype, the new kid. After perusing when I added you that's when all these Viagra Ads popped up." Skype looks to the exit and tries to make a run for it, sadly his wobble makes him an easy target to trip. He falls down. I point my accusing finger at him "It was you!" Skype spits at me and laughs "So what if it was, what's done is done, you'll never be able to stop Viagra NEVER!" He throws down a smoke bomb and scuttles off. "SKYYYYYPE!"

Evil lurking in homes

It was late, probably three in the morning, and I was lying on my couch watching tv. I do this from time to time (read: always) and everything was going just dandy. I wasn't thinking about the heat are about my purpose in life, so I was fairly content, when all of a sudden, scuttling into my periphery is a monster centipede. Now I'm not very insect phobic, although on a home insect scale, the centipede probably gives me the willies the most, but even then it's not very much because they usually crawl along the ground. They are fast buggers and in general when the days get warmer I look below my feet to make sure I don't step on one (that sucks by the way, hairy and the legs keep twitching) BUT THIS ONE well it was crawling down the pillow and was very nearly on my stomach so I half jumped (read: flinched and fell) away from it. That night I had a dream where I was dealing with a whole bunch of them a la Temple Of Doom. It's annoying how literal my dreams can be sometimes...

(I hate you centipede)

Look at me, I'm an HTML

by Shaggy

After posting the embedded youtube clip yesterday, and realizing that no mater what size it was it would still get cut off by the size panels, I realized the 'Posting' section of this blog has been too thin.

So, with some handy dandy coding fixes in blogger's HTML mode, it's been widened by 50 pixels.

Enjoy the extra space, kids. You've earned it.

Summer Winter Clothes

It's hot times now and I've switched all my winter clothes for summer clothes. If I lived in a part of the world where they only need summer clothes would I have half as much clothes or twice as much summer clothes?

Spawn on your Bro Coop Style

by Shaggy

As we JUST started our run on Lost Planet 2, figure, this is appropriate.

SPEED SWIMMERS: The Unreadable

by Shaggy

Fact one: Speed swimmers sometimes shave their eyebrows off to avoid any sort of speed resistance their body may have against the water.

Fact two: Facial expressions involve eyebrows.

Question: Can anyone tell what a speed swimmer is thinking when they're not saying anything?

Doctors Know Better?

I was at a Doctors Conference and they were debating the merits of certain medical procedures and which one was best. There were two sides, each with a presenter who informed the audience of doctors why their way was the right way.

Before the debaters spoke everyone was asked to vote where they stood on the subject. Then afterward they'd vote again to see if anyone changed their minds. The majority of the participants voted for option A. Then the option A speaker went up to give her talk. She had graph and charts and was speaking about medical advances and I was thinking to myself, wow, this is what a smart persons debate looks like. It's logical, thought out and thorough, people sitting back are watching and reasoning, this is great!

Then option B stood up, no one liked option B to begin with but then he flashed this grin. He opened with a joke, he made light of option A. His power points had more pictures, it was dumbed down and by the end of the debate the majority of the crowd was on his side. You could almost feel them wanting to chant his name.

Now he did raise some good points, and I'm not saying he was all bad but it kind of freaked me out that a flashy presentation could sway the doctors so much. I felt like they all got Monorailed! Kinda scary.

(Mono-Doh!)

And the award goes to...

by Shaggy

So EVERY field of work and entertainment has an award show of some sort, be it televised or hosted privately at a hotel ballroom or eatery.

That being said...

... are there award shows for achievements in award shows?

I feel the answer is gonna disappoint me either way.

Ukraine, Russia's New Jersey

Television loves to pick on certain locals more than others. On American shows people hate the French, think Canadians are innocent and naive and just flat out make fun of New Jersey. But if you live in France and are watching a french show who's France's French? They can't be despising themselves, is it Italy?

A company in Russia makes episode by episode copies of American sitcoms like Who's the Boss. Another that they've made is The Nanny, remember the one with Fran Drescher. And how do they explain away her crazy voice and character...she's Ukrainian.

The Ukraine, Russia's New Jersey

(This came out on DVD?)

Video games: Straight by default

by Shaggy

*the following I originally posted in response to the Kotaku thread A Short History Of Gay in Video Games

Reading this thread, it seems the demand is for a 'normal' gay character to appear, as opposed to a stereotype, but consider this: what defines a video game character as a heterosexual in the first place?

Historically, the only indication of a male video game character being hetero is that his end goal is to save a female character (and if there's a kiss at the end, that usually solidifies they weren't just 'friends', or it wasn't him just following his assignment)

But where there's a video game character that never mentions his/her gender preference, and they just go about the game, who's to say WHAT their sexual preference is.

The problem game writers (and writers in general) seem to have is, like in life, characters are labeled 'straight' by default, and have to activily prove they're gay to be considered other wise, and as such they rely on the stereotypes.

In the Harry Potter universe, the author J.K. Rowling publicly stated that Dumbledore was gay, because as far as the readers read, he never did anything in the book to indicate he wasn't hetero. And honestly, the same could be said about any of the characters who don't openly indicate they're sexual interest.

So right now, think of a video game character (who doesn't romantically interact with the opposite sex) and ask yourself why you believe they're straight or gay.

Unless they did or said something very obvious to indicate it, it's really difficult to know for sure.

(NOTE: this does not make up for the lack of openly gay characters in games, but my point is, not a lot of characters are openly straight either, it's often just assumed).

Don't Get Bit By Snakes

Getting chomped on by a snake must suck. It seems like it could be a very traumatic event, with all the lunging and unsuspectingness... Also having a gaping wound, and if you're bitten by a venomous snake weird effects will ensue. Thankfully there's anti-venom medicine to cure snake ailments, their IS Anti-Venom, but there won't be in a couple years.

No it's not because some rare plant is going extinct and that's the cure to snake venom. It's because it's not profitable for medicine manufacturers to make them. Yay, I'm so happy to live in a society where they put money first!

(SNAKED!)

1st: The series

by Shaggy

If I were a smarter man with more time on my hands, I'd make an internet show where I'd interview everyone who was first to post "first" as their comment on articles and videos, and ask them how they feel about their accomplishment.

Quick Draw!

In honor of Red Dead Redemption coming out soon I thought I'd answer an age old question. When you're in a gun-slinging stand off is it better to lead or react? Apparently the person to react draws an average advantage of 21 milliseconds faster but because they are behind on the draw it negates that fact sooooooo the answer is, it's too close to call. I'd say draw first, then you're guaranteed a head start.

What Wireless Networks Say About You

Often is the case where one turns on their computer and trolls for free wireless. Or tries to connect onto a wireless network they have access to. I always find it interesting the names people give their routers. Lots aren't renamed they just say Bell and a couple numbers. Others are very straight forward the so-and-so Clan or other names that relate to groups/clan/tribes. Another that pops up are something to the effect of cantstealnow or some other flip off. I feel those are the ones that people try to steal from first just to defy them.

So what makes a good name. Something like HomeSweetHome is too generic. You should probably choose something/ a place that is an easy expression of yourself. That said, you should never write P4NDOR4, because not only does that provide instant repulsion it's doubly tacky because the As were replaced with 4s.

De Club

by Shaggy

Why am I not the clubbing type?

No joke, I live next door to, like, 3 clubs. 3 individual venues where one can dance up the storm or see up and coming bands. And I attend none of them (though I can hear the base beats through most of the night).

But it just occurred to me tonight why.

I enjoy talking more than moving.

I literally get NOTHING out of (attempting) to dance. I don't feel the music or the rhythm. Its not even a matter of being self conscious, there's just nothing in dance for me.

Karaoke, on the other hand...sign me UP!

Running is an Ability

Playing the Beta for Halo Reach is awesome! I love the new load in abilities they have. Just before entering the game you can choose one special abilty i.e jetpack, stealth. The funny thing is that one of the abilities is running. It's super useful, but it's kind of hilarious that running in an ability.

Imagine if everyone could walk but not run. Make for a good chance sequence.

Bad Guys Speak Loudly in Stealth Games

Shaggy and i just finished completing yet another co-op game and thus solidifying our friendship once again. This time it was beating Splinter Cell: Conviction. Overall a very solid game although they assigned practically everything, from jumping over things to picking up guns, to the A button, which was dumb. But besides that and the pointless story it was stealth-er-ific!

Playing through the game one thing kept standing out, all the guards were big ol bladder mouths. They wouldn't shut up! Talking to themselves, each other, yelling at us to come out of the shadows, they worked really hard at making their presence known. Either they were all really scared of the dark and were reassuring themselves or they all had really big egos and couldn't get enough of themselves. Although I do like the fact that they put it in to help players, sometimes it can be a bit overdone.

In Gears of War the bad guys will stop and say "Reloading" When they are reloading so I can pop my gun our and shoot them. Couldn't the developers come up with something better for an alien bad guy (who probably shouldn't be speaking English anyway) say than Reloading. Why didn't they just have them say "Shoot me in the face now" or as they walk away "Coffee break"

(These guys like to reload)

Why do Bowling Alleys work and Roller Rinks don't

Probably because you can rollerskate outside but you can't bowl outside...or can you. Maybe that could be a new sport, all terrain bowling. I know lawn bowling and other bowling exists but why not one where you can knock down pins or whatever you have lying around.

Granted throwing a bowling ball down a street may lead to serious injury, but think of the enjoyment...no?

Today, a seagull stole my lunch.

by Shaggy

The title explains it all.

Yes, my lunch. Taken, from before my very fork. To be fair, I should have seen it coming.

The seagull was first on the fence behind me. Staring at me.

Then, he hopped over to the table next to me. Staring at me.

Then, he hopped onto my table. Staring at me.

And, while I was busy taking pictures of his journey, the thinkable happened.

Slowly to quickly, he crept up to my plate and snatched the remains of my lunch, flying just a few feet away, making a big noisy racket over his victory (to which other seagulls and pigeons were quick to join him).

This led me to wonder if there's some eternal score board out there, keeping track of bird vs. human p0wnage.

For every food or dump they take at our expense, they get a point.
For every daily genocide we commit against them, we get a point.
I just figure, someone's keeping track.

Coffee Redux

The thing about coffee is that it's not only a drink but a big part of many cultures. The routine of getting coffee is probably just as important as the coffee itself. The thing is, I do not prescribe to this thing that is coffee.

This at times does make me feel a little left out but a few things over-ride this and here are a few reasons why I do not drink coffee. Initially I'd say that the flavour was the primary reason why I don't drink coffee but as Shaggy put it, tastes change and frankly I feel that after a couple years people should revisit any foods they've removed from their life and try it again because it may in fact taste good now. So blaming taste alone would not cut it.

I think another big thing was that I was reading an article about food tasters and it said that drinking coffee was bad for your sense of taste, it dulled it. I hold eating food in a very high regard and that strengthened my resolve as to not drink coffee.

As I mention before the routine of getting coffee is a big thing. I remember that when I worked a nine to five job for all of a couple months I remember how important my donut break became. That 15 minute excuse to step out of the office to pick something up, to break that work cycle up, very important.

I however do not need that anymore so instead the idea of throwing away a little bit of money everyday doesn't impress me. I guess it's the same reason why I don't buy lottery tickets, purchasing all those small things add up and I don't have any money to spare.

The interesting thing is that I'm encountering more and more people who don't drink coffee...I'm trying to figure out why.

So THAT's coffee.

by Shaggy

Prior to yesterday morning, I've only had a cup of coffee once in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of lattes from Second Cup, frappuccinos from Starbucks, milk coffee cans from Asia, and french vanillas from Tim Horton's, but for all of my life, I've only had ONE straight up, traditionally defined cup of coffee.

I must have been...10 or 12, I donno, but it was at a relative's house at breakfast when they didn't have tea. And I had to put a LOT of milk and sugar in that mug to make it even tolerable.

Since that day, I swore off coffee.

From one experience of "GAWD, this tastes awful" I was never tempted to go back. Even through all of University, I never fell to coffee to keep awake through those long essay nights and early lecture mornings, placing my trust in Red Bull, Monster, and Bawls instead.

I gradually added more reasons why I didn't want to get into coffee. I hated the idea of being coffee dependent, lining up first thing in the morning, be it on foot or in car, waiting to get my fix from a coffee shop employee who by this point knows my name, how I want my coffee, and that I won't be needing a cup as I've long since been using the store branded thermos.

This brings us to yesterday.

So, there I was, ready to eat my share of FREE BAGEL BREAKFAST DAY at the studio, and amongst the variety of bagels, there were boxes of free coffee (y'know, like the box of wine deal) all lined up at the end of the table.

I looked at them, remembering my proud, if not stubborn steadfast abstain of the drink.

...then figured, 'what the hell, know thy enemy.'

After having my first straight up cup of coffee in over a decade (with lots of milk and sugar of course), I am reminded of one of the great changes we all go though in life.

Our tolerance for taste.

As kids, we are VERY sensitive to flavour. So much that we risk any punishment for not finishing a meal if it doesn't suit our pallet. I had my bouts with asparagus, brussel sprouts, onions, Uncle Ben's rice; many foods which are deemed healthy and 'good for you'.

And as I've grown up, I realize a lot of my current distain of these foods is mostly out of memory. I remember not liking green peppers as a kid, but after so many years, finally trying one voluntarily wasn't all that bad. It doesn't taste much like anything really, mostly water with a bit of zing.

This tolerance for taste is also something I apply to beer.

I avoided beers through most of University because of my first experience with the taste in high school (I believe it was a Moosehead). I hated it so much, I actually capped the bottle and hid it under the couch I was sitting on. Any further pursuit of alcoholic beverages would be strictly in flavoured spirits and ciders.

Eventually I got more comfortable with a beer every now and then. I admit, there are very few beers I can claim to enjoy the taste off (the strawberry flavoured Fruli and tequila flavoured Desperados are at the top of my list), but, as I as a person have matured in actions (i.e., NOT hiding unfinished beers anymore) and my taste buds have devolved in sensitivity, I can charge through a pint of something willingly, without as much opposition as child would.

And why is this?

Because I know beer will eventually lead me to getting that much more drunk.

I now understand why people drink coffee in the morning. Because like beer is thought to heighten the enjoyment of a social setting, coffee is to heighten the focus of mornings.

It's a warm, brewed bean beverage that tastes like ass; but it's an ass taste that we can get accustomed to, and form a ritualistic habit around, because yes, it does perk us up in the morning or whenever, so we stop noticing the flavour.

All this being said, I'll still be sticking to my lattes and french vanillas, because even as I know that healthy foods are good for you, alcohol gets you intoxicated, and caffeine wakes you up, I'm still immature enough to know that I want some flavour along with the function.

The Intangebility of the Digital World

In the future a guy named Johnny is going to be carry 320 gigs of classified information in his head. But right now digital real estate is still on standard computers, external hard-drives or floating around the interwebs. Which I guess is all nice and good except for the fact that I can't physically touch any of it. There is no hard copy. And now that another one of my external drives almost crapped out on me again I'm getting more and more paranoid that it's only a matter of time before I lose everything.

So yes I've started backing up my stuff onto other drives but isn't it also going to break down eventually. I used to back things up on DVD but now files are so much larger it's pretty much an impossibility. These days though people don't really worry about the size of things because gigs seem so cheap at the moment. But that just means the gap between physical copies to digital files will grow and grow.

Moving on, all these tablets and things are coming out for people to read books. But isn't half the fun of buying books is to build a library?

I could continue but instead I'm going to watch as I back up 420 gigs onto another hard-drive...hopefully it doesn't screw up.

The Fight was Fought

by Shaggy

Yes, tonight marked the very last night of XBOX LIVE for those who play the original XBOX, or any of it's LIVE enabled library on the X360.

After 8 years, Microsoft has now ended all online support for the old system, and knowing this was to be, I had to give the ol' HALO 2 one more go.


I've found in recent years, I've become distant from the Xbox Live community. Sure, in the early days of Halo 3 and Left 4 Dead, I played my share of matches, but I haven't put any online time into other titles, such the Call of Duty series, Gears of War, Team Fortress 2, or even sandbox games like Crackdown and GTA 4.

What happened exactly?

What turned me off from participating in what has proven to be one of the greatest examples of online console gaming?

Well, we're not here to talk about that. Instead, I'd like to reminisce about Halo 2 and the memories tonight's final online matches had brought back.

The anarchy of capturing multi-flags with 15 other strangers on Coagulation.

The thrill of keeping a warthog up and running n' gunning for more than 3 minutes amongst so much incoming fire on Zanzibar.The fear of poking your head around a corner for JUST a second on any level in SWAT mode.
And the calm, respective silence heard over all headsets during Team Snipers.

These were the things that made Halo 2 online a real treat. And I was able to relive them, for one last night.

Sure, similar experiences may exist on all the more recent titles, but Halo 2 holds one more memory none of these titles can hold a candle to.

Yes, it was during Halo 2, that I drank my very first Bacardi Strawberry Daiquiri.


So here's to you, Halo 2. I don't care what Halo 3's ad campaign slogan was, because you, have finished your fight.

GG everyone.