Wednesday, March 31, 2010

People Don't Like Hawaiian Shirts

I was reading an article about deal-breakers. Most were pretty straight forward: brags about being dishonest, try to have sex too early, facebook a woman after a date instead of calling or texting. But two things really stuck out to me, 1. Wear a Hawaiian shirt on a date 2. Have minimal furniture. What?

I can understand that wearing a Hawaiian shirt maybe a little off putting but what I want to know is how it warrants it's own statement. How many people go on a date wearing a Hawaiian shirt? I don't think I know anyone who wears Hawaiian shirts at all, let alone on a date! Is there some huge sub-culture I'm unaware of that loves wearing Hawaiian shirts. It's like a secret club made up of members who's mantra is 'everyday is a vacation'?

And "Have minial furniture". First, I'm not sure how many pieces of furniture is enough. Secondly does someone come into your place and say "Sorry, this isn't going to work, I don't see a bedside table with a lamp. We were never meant to be."

Monday, March 29, 2010

3-DTV Quotes

Because of the immense popularity of 3-D in theatres it seems like a pretty natural progression to bring 3-D technology into the home. 3-DTV has just come out and it's already selling really well. We'll see if 3-DTV becomes a commonplace thing, only time will tell, however, before it does, and people have to market the technology we're in for a real treat. How hilarious do people sound when talking about 3-D? "3-DTV is very exciting because people already know what 3-D is and how good it looks" Seriously, thanks buddy for letting me know, he sounds like a tool. But it can't be helped...Anyway, enjoy making fun of people talking about 3-D.
"3-D is something people understand"

Thursday, March 25, 2010

SRT - CH04

Early morning treat for you all (the Scott Pilgrim trailer has put me in such good of a mood...must'ave watched it 30 times yesterday).


(right click to download) - Shaggy Reads Twilight Chapter 04 (25m08s, 34mb, warning: contains strong language)


Bundles are the devil. These all in one inclusive packages that promise discounts. It's annoying for several reasons:

1. The company is trying to convert your services and thus make you choose an allegiance. I don't like that kind of pressure. Not to mention feeling like I'm getting pushed around by a big company.

2. By changing what the packaging of your services does, it allows them to add hidden fees and the such. Just recently Hydro changed their payment of to times of usage. When you don't use electricity in peek times it'll be cheaper. That's what they say, the kicker, all of it is more expensive then the prices were before. Therefore even if you change your usage habits to be more environmentally friendly it doesn't help your bill. That said, if you continue using the same way you always have you'll be paying a lot more.


Few movie trailers give me chills in my hair.

The Sin City trailer did.

The Advent Children trailer when Sephiroth shows up did.

And this one did.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The "THE"

by Shaggy

When it comes to movies, books and video games, ever notice how the simpler the title is (or subtitle), the more intense and eerie it seems?

Basically, take a "THE" and follow with something fairly common, domestic and more or less safe (though not always), and you got yourself an edgy title.

Seriously. Try it right now, and maybe use the thriller movie trailer type voice...

Heck, I'll just run through a few off the top of my head, and some of them ARE existing properties.

The Door
The Room
The Attic
The Neighbors
The Sign
The Porch
The Noise
The Hill
The Unknown
The Path
The Shed

This naming convention doesn't work with ALL words of course, as they may come out just sounding campy instead of unnerving, like say "The Meat" or "The Soap".

HOWEVER, such words DO sound creepier as a title if they stand alone.

Imaging the film poster for:




....brrrrrrrr, chills.

...oh, that's another good one, "THE CHILLS".

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Which way is it?

by Shaggy

Over the weekend, I called a few people to ask if they would be interested in partaking in some board games.

But before asking, the thought occurred to me; which way is more appropriate to ask?

A. "Hey, would you be up for some games?"
B. "Hey, would you be down for some games?"

When they answered their phones, I knew I had to make a choice, then and there.

I'm just not sure if I made the right one...

Monday, March 22, 2010

Italian Sodas are the HARDEST THINGS TO FIND!

by Shaggy

Actually, they aren't that hard to find.

But assembling the parts necessary has been a huge to-do over the past month.

For those of you who don't know, an Italian soda is basically soda and syrup.

Commonly sold at coffee shops (as you'll often see those large colourful syrup bottles against the wall behind the counter), you take a squirt or two of the flavour (strawberry, etc), fill the rest with club soda (or sometimes sparkling water), add ice, and maybe add some table cream or whipped cream (though in my experience, the club soda makes it curdle pretty quick like an Irish car bomb...Guinness and Bailey's)

The problem has been trying to assemble all the necessary parts of making an Italian soda.

To set the scene, I live in Toronto's Little Italy, which you would THINK is prime place to buy an authentic Italian soda...NOT SO.

I spent a night running into different restaurants, coffee shops. bistros and bakeries asking if they sold it, and all of them gave me canned or bottled sodas like Orangina or San Pellegrino.

One place misheard me and thought I asked for "ahepple soydah" (apple cider with a Boston accent), to which my suspicions should have been raised when she grabbed a packed of apple cider and started pouring hot water into it (damned if I didn't know there wasn't a hot winter version of the drink)

Finally, in exploring the St. Laurence Market down at Front and Jarvis, I walked into a tea/coffee store, that actually sold the large bottles of Torani flavoring syrups.
YES! FINALLY! Half a month into my new interest in soda making, and now I got the key ingredient to make my own.

And I must say, it's been pretty swell. I'm not a huge fan of most mainstream cola/soda/pops, like Coke and 7-up (root beer and more fruit flavoured stuff are my vices), but this home-assembled strawberry Italian soda has been going down pretty smooth.

Only problem is, I either use too much or too little syrup. To solve this, it was suggested I get one of those plastic pumps like they have at the Starbucks for their flavour shot bottles.
Hey, how hard could it be to buy one of them, I work near a school that specializes in the culinary arts. Can't be too hard to find in a kitchen/restaurant supply shop.


...plastic syrup-bottle pumps are the HARDEST THINGS TO FIND!

The Feud

I don't normally watch Family Feud but if I somehow stumble upon it I can't help but watch! I really do want to know what the survey says! But I find one very large problem with the game. Whoever wins the buzzer usually elects to play the board, they guess almost everything right but then end up with three Xs and then the other team just ends up stealing the points. It's almost like you want to be slow at the buzzer.

It's also interesting to see what answers people come up with in a stressful environment. When asked in the second portion of the game "How many hours is considered a good nights rest?" The guy answered five. FIVE! He thinks five is a good nights rest, what does he usually do with his time? Work three jobs, watch other people sleep, go for a morning marathon, trade in foreign stock markets, is a superhero.

Friday, March 19, 2010

SRT - CH03

So apparently there's some movie coming out on DVD tonight/tomorrow with vampires and yeah, here's the 3rd chapter.


(right click to download) - Shaggy Reads Twilight Chapter 03 (19m56s, 28mb, warning: contains strong language)

Opening song: fan made Keith and the Girl song from their forums.

Animal Fights

After watching District 9 where they have people gambling on aliens fighting each other in a pen a la cock fighting, I was wondering what over animals fights have humans manufactured. Praying Mantis fights, crab fights, dog fights, monkeys with knives fights... I couldn't think of anymore so I typed in animal fights in a search and instead of getting same species fights I was overwhelmed by a massive number of inter-species brawls.

Jaguars versus Anacondas, Bears against Mountain Lions and these videos all had millions of views. Apparently people love to see animals fighting each other. Now I know that isn't much of a shocker, I can still remember when I was a kid taking out Natures Deadliest Animals from the library. But one video, Leopard vs Gorilla (animal face-off) had nine million views, and it wasn't even REAL! It was a CG simulation. How lame is that.

In other news, Deadliest Warrior Season 2 starts up soon.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Eating but not eating food

Ever just watch a restaurant scene in a film and see how much food the characters actually eat? They play with the food, they take a drink, maybe a fry, they might eat a fry but they usually just point with it. Sometimes the characters take big mouth fulls but that's normally when the dialogue is about the food.

Only in Twin Peaks do characters stuff a whole donut into their mouths and nobody says a word. Twin Peaks makes me hungry.

Friday, March 12, 2010

SRT - CH02


(right click to download) - Shaggy Reads Twilight Chapter 02 (33m09s, 46mb, warning: contains strong language)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

When do people start going for the Record

I recently got my hair cut, so I was wondering how long was/is the longest hair. Apparently someone in China grew her hair out to fifteen and a half feet. It took her twenty one years to do it! So I guess the question is, why? Now the obvious answer is to get the record but before, when her hair was only four feet long...was she always thinking, it's my destiny to grow my hair super long and be put into the illustrious book of Guiness?

How does she wash it? How does she move? Walk around with a wheel-barrel full of hair, it's gotta be heavy! What about knots. She can never work around heavy machinery or any food business.

When does that switch flip to, yeah, I have a shot at a world record?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I don't know what to do with my VHS collection. Should I just throw it out? I don't think I'm ever going to watch them. The quality is garbage, and ANALOGUE! They don't look good, like records. I love Gondry and all but seriously if he can't make tapes look cool... Speaking of records, I'm playing DJ Hero right now. Mixing hmmmm, what if you could crossfade between two tapes, you could scratch by rewinding and fast forwarding! Mixing movies maybe that's what i could do with my VHS! Jumping from one movie to another, cutting back and forth...or is that just editing...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Shaggy Reads Twilight - Chapter 01

Alright, well as KT and I have been pretty busy working on a project we think you're all gonna like (more on that later), we haven't been able to get any Shrub Monkeys or Talking to the Cameras out there.

So, here's something to make up for that.


(right click to download) - Shaggy Reads Twilight Chapter 01 (38m33s, 54mb, warning: contains strong language)

The story behind this:

My good buddy Bam Becksted asked me "why haven't you read Ender's Game yet?!" and I had no answer. SO, he took it upon himself to start recording himself reading it, and sending me the chapters as mp3s.

So, for a Christmas gift, I figured I'd return the favour by recording myself reading some chapters from his favourite film, Twilight.

After Thoughts:

Reading a book out loud is great practice for reading books out loud.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Combat Trousers

Although Brits and Canadians both speak English we have lots of names for things that differ, lift for elevator, aluminium for aluminum but my newly discovered and now all time favourite...wait for it...cargo pants become combat trousers! British people call cargo pants combat trousers! How much more badass is that?! I feel like it insights a higher purpose in life, putting on combat trousers means something. I also picture combat trousers to be some mech-exo-skeleton-leg-enhancement gear so I can run faster, jump higher and live longer.

Combat Trousers, the Game Genie of pants errr trousers

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Who's More Evil; Me or Me with Glasses

Some study found that people do more illegal and morally irresponsible things when it's dark. Which I think a lot of people already knew, shady dealings and the such. It is also understandable because, if it's harder to see, maybe nobody will notice you doing said morally grey act. But what they also discovered was that people wearing sunglasses were also up to no good.

So be warned! Keep an eye on all those cool guys with their shades, they're up to no good! AND if they wear their sunglasses at night they must be doubly evil!

(Corey Hart: Probably raped your dog)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Post-Olympic Depression

I think I'm suffering from post-Olympic depression...When they were on I could just switch on the television at any time and watch corporate sponsors make me feel better about my country. Letting us know how great we are, it was a nice pat on the back for just being Canadian.

Because everyone was watching it, talking about the Olympics was an easy way to start a conversation. Now its

Hey! Have you seen any of the Oscar movies?

Monday, March 1, 2010


I got my computer back from the shop, and as a nice gesture they replaced my keyboard for free. I appreciate this because my old keyboard was starting to get the worn in greasy spot. Getting home I turned on my computer and started typing a message to a friend and just as I'm about to write an apostrophe I look down at my keyboard and I can't find it. Where did it go? I was baffled, in place where a whole slew of foreign letters and symbols!

The initial shock is over, but now I have to figure out what this steering wheel next to my ctrl means...